The Joy of Missing Out: Choosing What Supports Your Well-Being

Dec 12

Written By: Kelsey McVey, LCSW

Earlier this week I heard the phrase JOMO or the Joy of Missing Out for the first time. Now, most of us know what FOMO is and feels like. You know it’s that familiar tug that tells you everyone else is doing something better, more exciting, or more productive than you are. But have you ever heard of JOMO?

Let me break it down for you and why I am a huge fan of JOMO this holiday season.

The pressure to show up, say yes, keep up, or prove something is often at the expense of our own energy.

But there’s another option, one that doesn’t get nearly enough credit, and it’s the joy of missing out, or JOMO.

And it might just be the permission your nervous system has been waiting for.

Reclaiming Your Time, Energy, and Choice.

The joy of missing out can feel surprisingly empowering. Not because it gives you power in the traditional sense, but because it hands you back something far more meaningful… choice.

Sometimes it’s not power we’re seeking at all. It’s permission. Permission to opt out without guilt. Permission to rest. Permission to enjoy the time we get back when we decide not to attend the event, take on the extra task, or participate in something that doesn’t serve us right now.

JOMO is the quiet confidence of knowing that choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s absolutely and unapologetically necessary.

Mindfully Missing Out.

JOMO is what happens when you consciously choose to miss an event or obligation and actually feel good about it. It’s the opposite of “I should be doing more.” It’s an intentional shift away from social pressure and toward emotional space.

Where FOMO stirs anxiety, sadness, frustration, and comparison, JOMO helps you reconnect with the present moment.

Practicing JOMO isn’t about focusing on what you’re skipping. It’s about noticing what you’re gaining:

Maybe staying in gives you much-needed alone time.
Maybe it allows you to unwind with your partner and finally catch up on that show you’ve both been too tired to watch.
Maybe it’s your chance to take a long, grounding bath.
Maybe it’s simply silence. Something most of us crave way more than we admit.

Instead of filling your mind with what you “should” be doing, JOMO invites you to shift your attention to the benefits of choosing rest, stillness, or something slower.

When JOMO Matters Most.

JOMO can be especially powerful during emotionally taxing seasons. During big transitions, uncertain chapters, or moments when life feels messy or unsettled.

During these seasons, it's easy to fall into the comparison trap:

Feeling behind in your career.
Watching others hit milestones you’re still hoping for.
Navigating finances, family planning, or major life decisions.

Comparison activates the nervous system and sends you into negative thought spirals before you even realize it. Pretty soon you’re in the middle of a holiday party that’s supposed to be joyful, yet you’re feeling more defeated than ever.

JOMO interrupts that cycle in two essential ways:

You remove yourself from potentially triggering environments.
You’re not putting your system in a place where it has to work overtime to regulate.
You shift the mindset driving your choices.
Instead of telling yourself “I’m avoiding,” the narrative becomes “I’m intentionally choosing what supports me.”

This change alone reduces your body’s stress response and gives your nervous system a chance to settle.

The Long-Term Benefits of Choosing Yourself.

Over time, practicing JOMO strengthens more than your boundaries. It supports your entire well-being. And that’s the best gift you can give yourself this holiday season.

People who strengthen their boundaries often experience better sleep, improved stress regulation, stronger focus and productivity, more aligned decision-making, and a deeper connection with themselves.

Because JOMO was never about missing out.
It’s about choosing the moments, environments, and commitments that protect your peace and support your growth.